Equal Confessions
by InDeppth
Summary: -Vince finally decides to tell Howard his true feelings for him, but will Howard feel the same?-  Warnings: Slash/Bumming, Bit of fluff in the beginning and end, smut.


_**Disclaimer:**__I do not own The Mighty Boosh or any of its affiliates._

_**A/N: **__Yes, that's right, this is another one of those collaborative pieces that I keep going on about. Just to clarify once more, I'm the midwife, the others are the child makers. Don't hate on us, if you dislike anything but I do accept flames as long as they are justified. x_

Equal Confessions

Howard snapped his fingers in time with the music that only he could hear. His leg bouncing like a green blur with the rhythm. His eyelids covering both his eyes, not held tightly but more like a soft blanket to protect them from what he might see. Words of gibberish escaped his mouth and filled the room and Vince's ears. This was his time, part of his morning routine, and Vince knew not to disturb him but he always had the urge to do so. He couldn't stop looking at him, he was so beautiful, so relaxed. It made Vince's stomach knot up when he was like this, in his own little world that Vince got a front row seat to.

He stared with starry eyes over at Howard, watching his mouth produce the sweet sounds that Vince hoped he could one day understand, it didn't matter though because Howard made them sound like music – even though technically it was. Howard didn't realise Vince was there, or if he did, he wasn't showing any signs of recognition.

Howard sang out another line of mixed letters in a beat of made up words, his arms moved his hands up and down with his fingers shooting out to a strong part of the music. Vince couldn't help but wonder how a man so beautiful thought so much less of himself. Howard didn't know just how gorgeous he was or the way Vince felt, he hadn't worked up the right amount of courage yet or managed to tell him at the right time. It never seemed perfect enough. It wasn't like confessing your love for someone was supposed to be as special as asking them to marry you but it was a big step for Vince, he was after all seen as a self-centred prick at times.

Vince's smile faded as he started to control his breathing. He had to do this now, it was now or never. Howard had to know just how Vince felt about him. But what if Howard shoved him off in disgust or laughed as if it were a sick joke? He wouldn't be able to handle that, it would crush him completely. The sunshine kid would shine no more.

But he had to do it.

So many times he had almost asked the question but avoided it at the last minute before asking it. And then there was the time he actually had mustered up the right amount of courage to ask, _"Do you love me, Howard?"_ and have his dreams come true with a simple _"Yes. Always."_ before being crushed with _a "You're my best friend, of course I love you. You know that."_

It was a pretty tough moment that one, he had to plaster on a fake smile to hide the sound of his heart breaking. But he knew Howard was thick enough not to fully understand what he had really meant, he'd chosen the wrong way to finally tell him. It still hurt though; it still does even now when the scene replays itself inside his head. He wasn't going to make that same mistake again. This was his last chance, fate would decide. If he said it wrong or was laughed at, he would know if it was meant to be or not.

Vince slowly stood up from the small two-person couch, not taking his eyes off Howard. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He slowly made his way across the room to stand less than a metre away from Howard who was still lost in his own world. What was he supposed to do now? Kiss him? No, he couldn't do that; Howard would probably have a heart attack or beat him half to death thinking he was being molested by some stranger. This had to be done right, delicately, making sure to say and do the right thing.

Vince carefully outstretched his arm, taking his time for the tips of his fingers to make contact with Howard's jacket. He stretched further until his whole hand had a hold on his sleeve, Howard was still unaware of what was happening. Vince looked up at him, Howard's eyes closed and mouth moving, speaking in silence. He couldn't help himself, seeing Howard like this and being this close and able to touch him make Vince's heart skip a beat or two. His grip on the material tightened and he twisted his hand to tug himself up onto the tips of his toes to place a gentle, nervous peck on Howard's cheek. Howard's arms stopped moving and his eyes slowly opened to the sensation of warmth on his skin. He looked cautiously down at the source of the heat and saw Vince withdrawing his lips from his skin to look at him worryingly.

"Y'know, you should never wake a man from a jazz tr-mmph!" Vince leapt forward and collided his lips with Howard's. He had to do it, what else was he supposed to do?

Howard was motionless for a few seconds as he tried to register what exactly was going on and then began to respond to Vince's one sided kisses. Vince was surprised how passionately Howard moved with him, he didn't know what to say nor did he want to say anything in fear of ruining it and so he moaned as he melted into Howard. He grabbed the other sleeve to help himself stay upright, this was all too much. It was just a kiss, one that Howard probably didn't understand why was happening, it shouldn't feel this amazing.

Vince stopped moving and stood back, looking for a sign of what this meant for them, "Sorry... s'just that, I needed to tell you something."

Howard looked down and smiled, "Course not, little man."

Vince eyes widened in surprise of Howard's casual response to just being accosted and he had to hold his jaw closed for fear of it dropping and hitting the floor.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?" Howard's voice full of concern and kindness.

"I-I'll just make this short and sweet. Straight to the point." He could feel tears threatening to spill for fear of rejection, _Cmon, you have to do this. Now or never._

"Iloveyou."

The words spilled nervously from his mouth so fast and so softly that he wasn't even sure if Howard had heard them. Howard stared at him in silence, as if he were waiting for a punch line. Vince's eyes darted about, searching Howard's face for something, anything that might suggest that he felt the same.

And then he said it.

"I love you, too."

A tear rolled down Vince's cheek and he smiled a wobbly smile and looked at Howard through blurred vision, "Really?"

"More than anything."

He leapt forward and pressed his mouth to Howard's, sobbing gently, kissing him fervently. Howard didn't resist and kissed back with the same amount of passion, tasting the little man's salty tears on his tongue before Vince pulled back, breathing hard.

"Why haven't you ever told me?" Vince looked down, afraid of meeting Howard's eyes even though the fear was over, "I've loved you from the first day we met." He mumbled quietly.

Howard stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on Vince's chin, lifting his eyes from the floor to meet his own, "Vince…"

He didn't want to be seen like this; vulnerable with a tear stricken face. He turned his head to the side, trying to blink back more tears that were threatening to spill. Howard hunched forward and pulled his face back to him, Vince leaning into the touch.

"I never told you because…well, I just never thought you'd be interested in someone like me, you're so beautiful and – and perfect." He sighed, "I thought you'd laugh at me…"

"Never!" Vince placed both of his hands on either side of Howard's face, he grabbed hold of Vince's wrist and stroked his thumb over the skin. "I've been dreaming of the day you'd tell me you loved me. But I didn't think it would ever happen." Vince admitted, his face in a satisfied grin.

Howard didn't look away from Vince's wrist, focused on soothing the delicate skin, "I just…you always make fun of me. I always thought…"

He didn't get a chance to finish the sentence that Vince already knew the ending to as he was pulled down and smothered once more, silencing any doubt that may be present. Vince couldn't have appeared more sincere and honest in that moment. All of Vince's fear and doubt was gone and so was Howard's when Vince said the word's that he knew he could never tire of.

"But I do love you."

He held Vince to his chest and placed a chaste kiss on the top of his head. He leant into Howard's chest, and breathed out, feeling as relaxed and in the moment as possible.

He smiled into the other man's shirt and mumbled "I love you like this."

Howard's hand was aimlessly playing with a section of Vince's hair, somewhat surprised that he had the liberty to. Vince leaned back looked up at Howard and he leant down to meet Vince's lips.

"So are we like… together now?" Vince asked curiously.

Howard smiled back at him affectionately, "Well, I did say that when I crossed the physical boundary it would be forever, sir!"

"So, you'll never leave me?" he said quietly, opening his already huge blue eyes wider.

"Never. I promise." He squeezed Vince tighter to show he really meant it, "It's just you and me. It's always been you and me"

Vince held back tighter and hummed contently. "Good." He nuzzled into the warmth, "'Cause I want to be with you forever." he kissed his chest through the thin material and sent a shiver down Howard's spine. He released a little and tilted upwards, a cheeky grin teasing the sides of his mouth.

"You know, Howard…" he spoke, tracing his finger in circles on Howard's chest, "We can do what _boyfriends_ do." The cheeky grin now fully evident. Howard flushed and turned a bright red, opening and closing his mouth speechlessly like a fish out of water. Vince quickly reassumed his gaze to Howard's shirt and added, "Only if you want to I mean..." and ran a finger down Howard's chest to play with the hem of his shirt.

Howard answered quickly, "I do! I just – I don't know what to do…" speaking all flustered and out of breath, somehow trying to hide his embarrassment.

Vince's eyes shot up and he spoke compassionately, "I'll guide you along."

Vince leant up and pulled Howard down to meet him as he pressed their lips together, kissing him firmly but still gentle. Howard whimpered against his mouth which in turn made Vince's arousal stronger and he grinded against Howard. He gasped at the feel of Vince moving against him. Vince moved his lips lower and tasted the skin of Howard's neck and began unbuttoning his shirt with both hands.

Pulling the shirt from Howard's shoulders he leant down and placed a kiss on chest whilst flicking his tongue over a nipple. Howard shivered at the new sensation and held his eyes shut. Vince smiled against Howard's bare skin and moved his hand to Howard's trousers to knead him through the material. Howard's eyes shot open, Vince looked up to make eye contact and pressed his hand against him harder.

"Oh _God_."

He travelled down his chest, placing wet kisses as he went. Getting lower to kneel on floor before Howard and he started undoing the belt. Howard realised what was about to happen, not that he hadn't before but now that it was actually happening he didn't know what to do and he looked down at Vince wide eyed. Vince looked back, appearing as casual as ever.

"You okay?"

"Yeah!" he replied, a little too quickly, "Yeah… I just can't believe this is really happening." He admitted with a nervous chuckle.

Vince continued undoing the trousers and got Howard to step out of them, chucking them aside onto the floor.

"Ready?"

Howard nodded quickly, not taking his eyes off him. Vince flicked his tongue over the head of Howard's cock and moved his hand to work the base. He peered up through his eyelashes to see Howard with his head thrown back and producing noises that could only mean he was doing the right thing. Vince moved his head forward, taking care to fit as much of Howard's cock in his mouth as possible, moaning and moving backwards again. Howard opens his eyes just enough to see Vince bobbing gently in front of him and making Howard's heat burn hotter. He threw his hand down and grabbed hold of Vince's hair as he guided him to make him go faster with Vince happily doing so.

Vince was enjoying this just as much as Howard was, as far as he could tell, his cock straining forcefully against his tight trousers while he sucked hard and fast at Howard's. Howard's hand moved Vince's mouth along him quicker and his thrusts too were becoming faster and desperate, he could tell he was close already.

"Vince, I'm gonna..."

He wasn't surprised when Howard came with a strangled cry, tightening his grip on Vince's hair suddenly before relaxing and hunching over in defeat. He swallowed it whole and sat back onto his heels, wiping the back of his hand along his worked mouth. Vince got to his feet and rose to gently place his lips on Howard's, a smile teasing at the corners as Howard kissed him back.

"Wow." Howard said finally, whispering it against Vince's lips, "That was...I never imagined it could be that good."

Vince kissed him softly and Howard rested his forehead on Vince's with his arms draped around the back of his neck. Vince flicked his eyes down trying not to show on his face how hard he still was. Howard followed his vision and noticed him standing awkwardly with his trousers still tented and a patch of pre-cum seeping through the material, he thought that this must be killing him. Howard cleared his throat and their gazes both met with Howard's being slightly nervous.

"So, do I...I mean...what am I meant t-

He was silenced with a kiss and then a head against his shoulder, a sigh and a smile evident through speech, "Anything."

He looked down at the mop of hair on his shoulder and then back out towards him, "I don't..." he tried to find the right words, "You'll have to tell me."

Vince leaned back, a smirk dancing at his lips and a gaze that Howard felt like was pouring into his soul, he grabbed both of Howard's hands and guided them lower.

"First," he kissed the underside of the larger mans neck and moved one of his hands to rest on the front of his bulging trousers, "I want you mouth here." He whispered into his ear and flicked his tongue over the bottom of Howard's earlobe.

"Then," he moved both hands to firmly rest on his arse and squeezed it through Howard's hand, "I want your fingers here."

Vince half nuzzled into Howard's neck and moved across to nip at his bottom lip which was already fallen in an open mouth of silence and heavy breathing.

"Only if you want to, Howard." He said softly, trailing his tongue across the inside of the bottom lip, eager for further exploration.

Howard looked down nervously, shuffling a foot against the floor, "I-I do. Oh, Vince, of course I do." He paused. "I'm just worried that I won't be any good and...and you'll change your mind about being with me." He admitted softly.

Vince cupped his hand to Howard's face and offered an understanding smile, "I know you'll be good. Even if you weren't I'd still love you, I want to be with you, Howard. Nothing's gonna change that."

Howard blushed and kissed him softly and then looking about to realise where they still were.

"Erm, the others could be back at any minute. Bedroom?"

Vince nodded, "Good idea." He was quickly pulled in the direction of their shared bedroom, stopping momentarily to be accosted in the hallway before he ushered Howard along to room at the end.

Howard pushed him up against the door and Vince kissed him passionately, Howard's hand moving behind Vince to open the door. Howard, feeling a little braver, started kissing back more aggressively. Vince moaned at the sudden change in Howard. He slipped his tongue into Vince's mouth and explored eagerly with Vince's moans quickly turning to whimpers and he smiled against his mouth. Howard ecstatic, it was amazing that he could make noises like this come from Vince.

Vince breathed heavily and pulled back momentarily, "Fuck, Howard," then pulled him back into a messy kiss, "I think you're doing just fine."

Howard lifted a hand and tangled it into Vince's hair and resting the other on his arse pushed him back up against the door. Vince loved him being in control and he grinded his clothed erection into Howard's thigh. He moaned into Vince's mouth, still loving the feeling of being able to make Vince feel like this.

"Howard, take my clothes off." He said, breathing heavily and through zealous kisses.

Howard obliged and began quickly lifting Vince's shirt over his head, kissing him messily as he undid the trousers, Vince helped and kicked his boots off. Howard pulled the drainpipes down and off his legs and the cold air rushed to Vince's bare thighs.

Howard hooked a finger under the elastic of Vince's electric blue little-boy styled underwear, knowing full well that there was nothing little-boyish about what was beneath them. He suddenly appeared nervous and hesitated the next move.

Vince looked at him curiously, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, I'm just nervous..."

Vince leant forward and kissed him lovingly, "Don't be."

Howard kissed back and tugged down Vince's underwear, his breath hitched when he was freed and again the cold air consumed him. Howard's hand grabbed hold of Vince's cock and began moving his thumb over the head tentatively, looking into Vince's eyes whilst doing so. Vince's head fell back and he hummed at the sensation of Howard's hand. Seeing the exposed pale flesh of Vince's neck, Howard took the opportunity to kiss the soft skin, gently nipping every now and then.

Howard bit down and then lifted his mouth to Vince's ear and whispered, "Now what?" wanting to do as Vince asks, trying giving him the best time of his life.

Vince swallowed and dampened his lips, "Your mouth."

He felt a little worried as he'd never done this before, but dropped to his knees nevertheless and gripped the base of Vince's cock, pausing with his mouth inches away from it to look up at Vince. Howard's breath was hot on him and he moved his hips forward towards Howard's mouth, urging him on. He took the head into his mouth and sucked softly, moving his tongue over it experimentally.

"Mmm yeah..."

Vince's eyes closed and he let his head fall back once more. Howard ran his tongue along the underside, then taking a bit more of Vince into his mouth and found a hand now gripping his hair moving with him. He tries to take in as much he can, choking slightly, but persisting and moving his tongue; trying to mimic what Vince had done to him. He looked up for approval - or instructions.

Vince spoke through gasps of pleasure, "Howard, I – your fingers. I, _fuck_, want your fingers in me."

He quickly grabbed Howard up and pulled him onto the bed, he laid himself down with Howard uneasily moving over him, not quite sure what to do.

"One sec."

Vince got up quickly and retrieved the bottle of lube he kept in his top drawer and handed it to Howard and told him to put it on his fingers when the confused look on Howard's face appeared. Howard turned over the small bottle and flipped the cap open and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers. Vince laid himself back down, looking at Howard apprehensively and biting his lip.

"And then I..." Howard looked from his hand to Vince's lower self and then up to Vince's face.

"Put one in. Then two. And fuck me with them."

Vince leant up and kissed Howard hard, the other man's eyes opening wide in realisation of what he was about to do to his best friend and then begins to respond to the kiss, wondering how Vince made this seem so simple and perfect. He moved his hand into position, pulling from the kiss slightly to ask if he was ready. Vince didn't need to say if he was or not because Howard knew the answer and slowly pushed one finger into his tight entrance. His back arched and his chest pushed forward, his head pushing back against the mattress. Howard curled his finger and Vince's throat immediately let a low gruff moan escape and his heaving breaths began an uneven pace. He pulled his finger part of the way out and then slowly pushed it back in, twisting it as he does so; he loved seeing Vince like this – squirming beneath him.

Vince's knuckles were white from the grip he had on the bed sheets. Howard pulled out again, agonisingly slow, and added a second on his return. Vince pulled the sheets in all directions, not quite sure what do to, or rather, what he could do. Having Howard do this to him was just about the best thing he had ever experienced and it was far from over. Howard formed a rhythm and pattern with his fingers, getting slightly rougher each time he pushed back in. He twists and scissors his fingers, stretching Vince and causing him to cry out Howard's name.

"Ah! Fuck, Howard, you're good at this."

Howard smirks at the compliment and bends down to capture Vince's lips in a forceful kiss, his fingers curled and he hit Vince in a spot inside of him that made him contort and cry out louder than before and decides that he did something right and repeatedly hits Vince there. He was whining pathetically now, begging for Howard to never stop. Moaning and whimpering, turning head to the side. Sweat drenched hair matted to his forehead, hands numb from gripping the sheets. Howard sucks at the side of his neck, biting down particularly hard when he hits Vince's prostate.

"_Fuck_, I'm gonna come. Don't stop!"

Howard pounded his fingers into Vince a few more times, taking care to curl and hit his fingers just right inside of him. Vince cried out, his body stiffened and convulsed as he came hard over his stomach. Howard watched and admired the beautiful sight of Vince doing this upon his responsibility. Vince relaxed back into the mattress, completely spent. Howard leant down and kissed him, a content sigh escaped Vince and he and Howard both beamed at each other. Howard brushed the sweaty fringe from his best friend's forehead and placed a chaste kiss there.

"You're beautiful."

Vince would have blushed if he weren't already red faced. He absently played with a curl resting on the back of Howard's neck.

"Really? Or are you just saying that?"

"No, I'm really serious." He kissed him again, lingering a second to relish the moment. "I love you, Vince."

"God, Howard. I love you too. So much."

"I know, little man. I know."

Howard moved off Vince and pulled him into his arms, holding him there. Vince trying to pull himself closer than what was physically possible and Howard laughed silently to himself. He still couldn't believe that they were now 'together'. But, he supposed, he wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
